champions-league-logoI was watching the Champions League Final in New York yesterday. There were a lot of ex-pats, immigrants and vacationers watching the game, but what really got to me were the Americans who spent maybe a couple months abroad and pretended the game was life-and-death to them.

This has to be its own tier of douche baggery where overpriveledged suburban twentysomethings actually pretend like they have some vested interest past enjoyment of watching the game between soccer clubs from corners of Manchester and London as though they were from corners of Manchester or London.

Why don’t you go tear up over the loss of a Bangladeshi cricket club getting ousted from the quarter finals, Sean?

This isn’t to say that it wasn’t a great game and you can’t enjoy it as an American. It’s just that we all see the passionate Brit who takes the game too seriously. To some people soccer is more than just a game. And there’s that part of you that wishes you could care about something that much. But you can’t. Not about soccer at least. So get a life, find something else to enjoy die-hard and stop crying and watch the game.