Early Fall is always a weird time of year because I get a lot of phone calls from family members wishing me a Happy New Year. The problem, however, is that it’s September. Do they not own a calendar? It’s clearly warm outside, so can we all stop kidding ourselves?
If I get calls from my Jewish family members wishing me into the new year whenever they like, I want phone calls from every other race and ethnic group that has their own magical calendars. I know a lot of Chinese people, where are their phone calls?
And it doesn’t even have to be mainstream whatsoever. I want phone calls from Aztecs saying their giant monolith calendar says it’s a new year because the Sun is shining on the correct spot on a rock.
How about the descendants of the people who built Stonehedge? What are their New Years resolutions? Probably same as every year…figure out why their ancestors built Stonehedge. My point is let’s agree that Christians have won, OK? I feel like Ron Paul still making noise after clearly not being a Presidential Candidate. Drop your case. It’s not the New Year.