Stopping time travel sex since 1988.

Stopping time travel sex since 1988.

I’m really excited for the new Terminator Salvation movie coming out soon, but it’s made me think of some of the weird time-travel logistics that will interfere with the original Terminator.

The biggest and most obvious conflict seems like it has to be that John Connor is going to send his friend back in time to have sex with his mom and conceive him, John Connor. Can you imagine how awkward of a conversation that has to be?

Surely John Connor didn’t want to have to bring it up with Kyle, but it might have crossed his mind. Right before he hit the “Send” button on the time machine, do you think he said, “By the way, don’t bang my mom,” or was he confident that his friend will go back in time and not have sex with her?

Because most bodyguards aren’t supposed to have sex with their client. I’m sure there’s some syndrome, like how caretakers fall for patients or hostages fall for their captors, but still, this is the future of the human race we’re talking about here and he’s going back to the 1980s to get laid.

But then the problem comes up that if he doesn’t have sex with Sarah Connor, then there is no John Connor and humans are screwed. So does John Connor know? And if he does, that’s even more uncomfortable to tell your friend to go back in time and have sex with your mom. How do you bring that up in casual conversation? “OK, so you need to protect my mom from a T-100 Cyborg Terminator. It’s an indistructible killing machine who will stop at nothing to kill her and anything protecting her. Also, have sex with her if you get the chance.”

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