Very good friends

Very good friends

I know I’m going to be very much alone in this plight, but in a very Chasing Amy-way, I feel a tinge of disappointment when I meet a cool and hot girl who is a lesbian. It’s sort of like a lost cause.

This is a weird analogy, and will probably sound offensive at first, but stick with me. But when I meet a hot and cool girl who happens to be a lesbian, I feel the exact same way as when someone puts a recycleable item in the trash bin.

Hang on.

I know that didn’t make sense at first. But we’re very in tune with global warming and environmental issues, so when someone drinks a bottle of soda or snapple, you know they’re supposed to recycle it. It will be out there for me to use someday when it’s been cleaned and recycled for the public good. It’s sort of like the item is still there for the community. Just like women.

But if someone puts it in the trash bin, it’s gone, I’m never going to get my chance. I’m not saying that being gay is like being in the trash, I’m just saying that being in the trash means that it’s unattainable of sorts. I’m not going to be one of those people that digs through trash bins for five cents a bottle, that would be desperate. Just like pining over unavailable women.