This could be tampered down with...

This could be tampered down with...

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By looking at the sky in Los Angeles the last couple days, either the world is about to end, or we are missing out on what could be the best integrated promotion in the history of cinema. Has anyone else noticed the exact parallels between the fiery red plumes of smoke caused by the San Gabriel fires, and the ominous red world that preludes a downpour of pancakes?

Columbia and Sony Animation are missing a brilliant chance to not only raise awareness, but also to feed stranded families and people who are guarding their homes against both the rage of an unstoppable forest fire and french toast falling from the sky.

What if instead of dropping the fire-retardant moisture from 747s, Columbia Pictures sponsors the airplanes to actually drop spaghetti and meatballs from the reddened sky? This solves numerous problems: Columbia pays for some of the costs to control the fire, they’ll make up the expenses with the opening week gross thanks to the clever marketing campaign, the fire itself will be stamped down and delicious, and stranded firefighters will have food readily available.

Maybe you could argue that it wouldn’t work because Italian food is fattening, but you can’t have it both ways people!

The studios are taking a beating with decreased DVD sales, pirating, higher costs and star-fees, so it’s going to take this kind of outside-the-box thinking to save the film industry. They have to look for every opportunity in Los Angeles’s natural ecology of trying to destroy everything living in the basin and see how it can integrate into half the movies in development.

Some would say that Los Angeles is cloudy from a smoke-plume from a forest fire burning hundreds of thousands of acres and damaging homes and taking lives, Sony would say that it’s cloudy, but with a chance of meatballs.

Stay hungry.

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