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Torrent downloading (O.S.)

Torrent downloading (O.S.)

It’s incredible how much I find myself bargaining for a few extra minutes of sleep every morning, when the concept of time seems absolutely worthless every night.

If my alarm clock had such a setting, I think I would easily throw on a three-minute snooze button, because of that negotiating committee that enters my head at around 7:15 A.M. You even start calculating if the crappiness of the song you wake up to can be sustained for the eighteen more seconds of sleep that you think will make the difference.

But at night, the idea of minutes being valuable is worthless. It’ll circle around one O’Clock in the morning and suddenly it seems like that’s the perfect idea to start reading the Wikipedia entry on World War One. As though surely I won’t regret that decision in the morning, which is now in ten minutes.

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Pulitzer Prize gay sex inside

Pulitzer Prize gay sex inside

Ever read a book in a place where people can read over your shoulder, like a bus, subway or airplane, and all of a sudden you get ambushed by a hardcore gay sex scene that comes out of nowhere?

I don’t have a problem with gay stories, but it’s when you get ambushed by the gay part of straight stories that I could use a warning.

This happened the other week when I was reading an excellent book, Kavalier and Clay, on the subway. As any real New Yorker knows, the book you’re reading is more important for showing off to other riders than actually enjoying reading it.

So I’m proud of my great book, showing its Pulitzer Prize medal to anyone who happens to walk by and wonder what that intelligent-looking guy is indulging in now. But that’s when one of the main characters turns out to be gay and has a descriptive gay sex scene written with the precision of Pulitzer Prize fiction.

Normally, no problem at all. But it’s the fact that the train was packed and there were clearly people reading over my shoulder that I ran into trouble. This all could have been easily avoided if there had been a footnote a few pages prior to the gay sex scene simply saying, “Listen this is gonna get real gay soon, so heads up if you’re on the A train.”

This is opposed to people intentionally sharing a book like, “The art of gay sex” for everyone on the subway to notice, which, hey, go all out, right?

read-on-subwayLast night I was reading my book on the subway when the train pulled out of 96th Street and headed towards my stop, 103rd.

Just as the train left the station, I turned the page, and saw that I was one-and-a-half pages away from finishing the chapter. A race ensued.

I don’t think I comprehended a single word that my eyes passed, but I was in this furious competition to get to the end of the chapter just in time for the doors to open and I can leave knowing that I got to a point in the book where the author approved for me to stop.

I didn’t make it. I was two paragraphs shy when the doors opened. I didn’t know what I just read. I didn’t know if something had important happened. It’s not even a great book to begin with, it’s just the principle of the competition.

But I let the doors close and I rode to the next stop so I could get to the page break anyway.

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May 2019
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