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Batman speaks on world peace (O.S.)

Batman speaks on world peace (O.S.)

Why is it that whenever the Muslim World gathers for a speech, conference or convention they all manage to fit the exact stereotype depicted in the opening fight sequence of every David Zucker movie?

It’s almost as if they watched the introduction of Frank Drebin in The Naked Gun or An American Carroll right before they decided how they would dress for the day. Then went into their garage and found the weirdest car parts they could locate then decided to use that for head wear.

I’m all for cultural differences and awareness and acceptance, but dressing like you’re about to receive the world address from the 1960s Adam West Batman is not going to help your cause.

I hope that Obama can forge world peace and eliminate nuclear weapons and form bonds between nations with inherent cultural differences. But I don’t think that conducting speeches in front of an audience that looks like Warner Brothers saved money by hiring extras from people waiting for the taxi medallions is the way to go.

We could have pissed off Texas a lot more

We could have pissed off Texas a lot more

First Grand Martial of the Gay Pride Parade

First Taliban

First ten-year-old

First kitten

First High Times Magazine French Edition Editor

First Sanjay Gupta

First aborted fetus.

Both still seeking their first championship

Both still seeking their first championship

More aid is being sent to Africa, more U2 songs are being written and more kids are being whisked away by Pitt-Jolie Ltd., yet the continent still can’t get on stable footing. It’s made me wonder if Africa – the entire Continent – is the Los Angeles Clippers of land masses.

Year after year, Africa comes in last in revenue, tickets sold, attendance and they always get all the perks to turn things around. They get the best minds, they get the most aid, they always get the first draft pick. Yet, none of it seems to work. Clearly this is the fault of mismanagement.

All the resources are there to win. They have numbers, they have natural resources, they have water, food and industry, yet the people in charge keep messing things up. It’s like Baron Davis, Marcus Camby and Zach Randolph. Very talented individually, but when Mike Dunleavy is put in charge, suddenly you have epidemics, food shortages and civil wars in the Staples Center. Mike Dunleavy is the Robert Mugabe of the NBA.

Also, both have a lot of black people. If you like your metaphors more direct.

The man who invented the penny

The man who invented the penny

Being back in school I thought it would be a productive use of my time to find an internship. Found a great one, but had to deal with a massive load of paperwork to get the unpaid internship in motion. I feel like there is way too much bureaucratic work that goes in to being a slave.

Know whose fault this is? Abraham Lincoln. The guy screwed the slavery process up for those of us who want to be a slave.

I don’t see what the guy’s problem was. I mean, I understand that there are people who didn’t want to be slaves, but this was a position that I was eager to sign up for, and instead I had to waste a good two days running around from building to building, and trying to fax things from one department to another. All I was looking to do was to work for no pay and maybe get whipped around a little bit, but that’s a private matter.

Abraham is like Jesus. He might have died for our sins, but he didn’t ask first or run it by anyone. Next time you’re going to do some grandiose humanitarian action, just make sure everyone’s cool with it, is all I’m saying.

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August 2019
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