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If you turn the sound off, they send a car to blast it next to yours

If you turn the sound off, they send a car to blast it next to yours

Most advocates against driving say that by taking the bus, riding a bike or walking to work in Los Angeles helps to reduce traffic and pollution, not to mention the stress of sitting bumper-to-bumper on the 10. But I think that the most underrated asset to not being in a car is that it makes it that much more difficult for one of Kings of Leon’s songs to find you.

I don’t know how they always manage to do it, but Kings of Leon manages to have their awful not-really-rock, not-really-country, Wilco-wannabe-but-closer-to-emo retarded lyrics make their way into my eardrums under every possible circumstance.

They managed to get onto every single radio station, even ones that don’t seem to specialize in music. The same crappy “Sex is On Fire” song that KROQ can’t get enough of, will then interrupt a news broadcast. Am I the only person who thinks that this band is one of the most overrated on the radio? Sometimes the radio won’t even be in, but the car will have it turn on automatically and say, “Hey, noticed your sex isn’t on fire, how ’bout a song about having your sex on fire!” and the worst-titled name in the history of music will start playing.

What the hell does that even mean to have your sex on fire? Either it’s the worst S&M menu option on the list or he’s just so emotional about a girl having a nice pussy that he came up with this super clever and deeply intuitive metaphor. And then he wrote a shitty tune around the whole thing.

So, yeah, save the planet, drive less, save gas money and the pains of sitting in traffic. But most importantly save yourself from this overrated of overrated bands that make L.A. radio stations look like the underplay Sublime.


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March 2019
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